living unabashedly your true self
Lately I’ve had a stye, which is a painful eyelid infection that is equally painful to look at. It’s reminded me of all the times in my younger days that I went into public, even on okCupid dates, with physical ailments such as this that would typically render one homebound with a carton of ice cream on the couch.
I didn’t give a single f*ck.
In the years since having a baby and moving to Oregon, I’m embarrassed to admit that I have, indeed, given a f*ck. I’ve struggled with identity and belonging. On one hand, it’s been good for me to dig deep on the personal growth through challenge. On the other - it’s been lonely. But after 7 years, I’m feeling more like myself than I have in a long time.
So where does clothing come into this?
For a variety of reasons, I haven’t been able to wear “my” clothes through this period. For a long time I thought it was just practical. OOAK local design pieces don’t really lend themselves to tending an organic garden or harvesting medicinal plants. But even for special occasions, and when buying new things for my new body, I’ve looked like everyone else in this small town. I’ve looked like a suburban mom.
No more!
Earlier this month I did a closet overhaul. Some of you may have seen the highlight reel on social media. It was so clear for me what made my heart sing and what felt like a new twist, maybe a more mature version of myself. It was also clear what didn’t feel like “me” at all. I’ve got a pile of clothes that I enjoy but need repair, either for damage or just to bring it to a more expressive level.
Customizing my wardrobe through visible mending feels good to my soul. I can step out into this small town as myself, not trying to fit in with anyone but myself.
I’ll be that eccentric old lady… just try and stop me!
